It's been an odd few days. I've been working like a mad woman on my art and my crafts. I love it, the creating, the swapping the business of it. I'm never without doing something. Never just sitting...
I've recently become aware that I do this because it's too painful to sit quietly, sit without my hands, my eyes, my mind being busy with counting or focusing on color or pattern or stitch.
I do it to ease the pain that I feel whenever I really 'think' about Mandy and sometimes Danny. It's easy to speak about them, to relate stories about them, but when it's quiet and I sit with nothing in my hands to keep my attention I still imagine her alive... then in an instant I know she isn't and the pain returns.
Maybe it's not that it eases the pain but rather that it denies the pain.
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